Sunday, October 24, 2010

Alright, So.

Blizzard is a big 'ol liar.
i know he promised you guys an exciting breakdown of his two-day blizzcon a'venture, but he was lazy, and told me to write something. Although, to put it in his words, he was "too exhausted from blizzcon to do ANYTHING." (besides minecraft and WoW.) So, if you hadn't noticed, this is Whorewolf reporting, and you're just going to have to wait for the blizzcon post until...well, whenever Blizzard recovers. For now, i'm going to talk about whatever the fuck i feel like.

Quote of The Day: "Once you've come, porn just seems kinda funny." -George Washington

Music Recommendation: "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie.
 I'll include a link this time, just to be nice. (look for it below) It's got a remix that's also really good, but i prefer the original because the introduction is just a girl orgasming. It's an epic Halloween song, that only faggots would dislike. And i don't mean the cool faggots who have gay ass-sex, i mean the lame faggots who don't appreciate good music. ya, you know who you are. ^_^

Now, for the main event: Gold diggers. And i don't mean that awful Kanye West song, either, i mean actual women who use men for their money. I'm pretty sure a relative of mine has become one, seeing as she has recently procured over a $1,000 worth of merchandise from a well-off man whom she's only just met a few weeks ago, and i don't even think he's gotten his dick wet, yet. (Excuse the bluntness- Blizzard likes to say I'M the one who killed chivalry)
And hey, i guess if he's stupid enough/willing enough to spend his money on something that isn't neccessarily going to pan out- the relative in question is still, for all intensive purposes, MARRIED- then i guess he's just the idiot, right?
I think women who do this are some of the most pathetic creatures, ever. Taking advantage of someone is never okay. Especially when they're THIS stupid. A boyfriend wants to buy you something? I understand. You love his person, and he loves you. But my relative does not love this person, and i honestly don't see this going anywhere in the bigger picture.
So all the things he's gotten her, just disgusts me. (Even though i am still jealous. To be honest)
Now, enjoy this motherfuckin' gorgeous dog:

Now, for that song:

Happy One-Week-Til-Halloween, Everybody!

Friday, October 22, 2010


By the time you've read this, I'll have already left the house and gone to Blizzcon.
I'm actually typing this last night at 2:31 am.
I just wanted to give ya'll a heads up that this update sucks.
It's going to suck because I'm to lazy to make a legitimate update.
Instead, I'll be giving an extra awesome update Sunday reporting on what I got to go through at blizzcon.

In the meantime, enjoy these extremely cute cats/kittens...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

No "What If" Questions!

Have you ever been in that awkward situation where you woke up in a dumpster full of toe nail clippings and babies?

Anyone else heard about Kanye's bottom row of teeth? Replaced them with diamonds and gold. It's not a 'grill,' he literally REMOVED his teeth and REPLACED them with diamonds! MOTHER FUCKING DIAMONDS. Folks....this is awful. We've given Kanye's the most powerful tool in the universe. He may no go out in to the middle of the streets and eat your car. What are you going to do? Nothing. He is too powerful, this is everyone's fault. We should have reacted sooner! Now, all we can do is hope he doesn't encase his brains and major organs in diamonds, otherwise he'll be an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF SHITTY LYRICS!!!

Though an epidemic may be at hand, don't forget to enjoy your daily dosage of cats!

Monday, October 18, 2010

1 PM, Every Other Day

So, I came to the conclusion that I'd start updating the blog every other day (unless I'm in a freak accident where my hands explode and I can't type, and Whorewolf is dead). Which means, no specific day (Monday, Wedsday, Friday) because an odd number of days in the week doesn't work with an "every other day" schedule. I'm also to lazy to work out something less confusing. So, every other day at 1pm.

In other news, I've nearly consumed three massive bags cheesy puffs. About ten dollars worth of cheese and puffyness.
 They're disgusting and I feel disgusting for eating them, but god damn it, I am addicted!

Also, cats:

Edit: To be specific, 1PM PST
I'm aware I'm a lil' late on the time, I happened to sleep in today. >.>

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Making my way down town, going fast, faces past....

I lied. I'm not done with Minecraft. I've decided to keep modifying my main fort.

Instead of typing a legit blog, enjoy this list of webcomics I read:
hhtp:// (no longer updated, they moved on to Threepanel.) (many different sections) (hardly updated anymore)

I've read pretty much every single comic by all those artists. I'm up-to-date. <3 Also, no cats today. Instead, dildo-knives.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone. No scars or anything, just flat skin. Once you left your room you found out your dad died last night. Several days later you find out that for your entire life he had been sneaking into your room while you slept and sucking on your chest to make two gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be, because you were born without them. He didn't do it for any sexual reason, only so you could fit in.
God bless you, dad.

Alright, I haven't done any posts lately because I've been absorbed in Minecraft (as Whorewolf previously stated). I think I'm over it for now though. I built five impenetrable, mountain-top fortresses (my favorite one having 5 door ways, and two sets of ladders you had to go through before you even reach the main structure, or "safe haven" as I liked to call it). I started mining diamond and blood before I got bored of it because I realized that I had pretty much already made everything that could be made. I can't wait for them to update it on Halloween; they're going to include new monsters, fishing, a Hell, new crafts, ect ect. Only downside to the update is that I'm going to have to re-pirate minecraft or a patch (because I'm too Jew to shell out 15 bucks).

Anyways, enjoy these really old cat videos!

Friday, October 15, 2010


Whorewolf reporting, once again.
Quote of the Day:
"I love my desk. I love it." "Really? Have you had sex with it?" "I don't know where to put it." "Well, in your ass, obviously."
Now, onto more pressing matters- Blizzard has recently downloaded the game Minecraft, with which he is now obsessed with. He played it all night and day, and i'm assuming he'll continue to do so until he falls into a coma from exhaustion >.< which, consequently, is the reason i'm doing two blogs in a row.
I couldn't really think of anything particularly important to me, so i tried poking 'round the internet for something that was somewhat relevant, when i remembered- shitfuck, it's almost Halloween.
Halloween is the time of year where, if you're young and innocent, you find something silly to wear and run around demanding candy. If you're young and whorey, you find something slutty to wear and run around demanding cock. (Gratuitous amounts of alcohol usually coming into play.)
But i prefer scary Halloweens. Not to say that i won't be dressed up like a whore as well- if i didn't look like a hooker, then i wouldn't feel like myself- i'm just saying that i prefer the more morbid side of things. Whatever happened to scary movies, urban legends, and haunted house attractions? Halloween is more than just an excuse to get diabetes and/or an abortion. It's about appealing to the darker side of human nature.
So, if i don't see at least one blood-covered zombie, i'm going to be disappointed.
On the music front, i feel like recommending Elliott Smith today. He may be dead, but in the spirit of Halloween, i say we resurrect his music. Some of my favorite songs of his are Angeles, Between the Bars, and Ciggarettes. But i'm not going to include links, because i'm fucking lazy.
If you, too, are just as lazy, then forget looking him up- and just enjoy this AMAZING FUCKING DOG, again. I swear, were it legal, i'd marry her. Mishka, i love you<3

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Whorewolf here. I've been thinking about it, and i've decided that whenever i do a blog post for Blizzard, i'm also going to throw in a quote of the day.
Today's quote is: "Don't worry, I always inspect the product when i take my little brother to buy drugs."
That sentence pleased me supremely.
Everyone needs a big sister to make sure their weed isn't laced with meth. <3
 For today's music section, i'm going to introduce to you my favorite band: The Pretty Reckless. I don't really know how i'd describe them, except that they're rock, and amazing. Definitely worth a listen.
 FYI: You may recognize the frontwoman from a certain CW television show. This is irrelevant to her entrancing vocal abilities.
Below are their two recently released music videos:
 "Make Me Wanna Die"

and "Miss Nothing"

Their full album isn't available in the U.S. yet. But if you're a slim-hipped British bitch, then go for it.
Or, alternatively, you could enjoy this FUCKING AWESOME DOG. Waaayyy better than Blizzard's cats. *The More You Know*

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I woke up at 5pm, checked my blog, jizzed my pants.
Actually, that was a lie. I was butt naked when I checked.
As a matter of fact, I'm generally butt naked. Pants are the devils bindings. You wear pants = you worship the devil.

In other news, Juan Rodriguez attempted Battlecam's One Million Dollar Challenge! For those of you who don't know what Battlecam is and what their challenge is, I'll explain it to you. Battlegame is a website ran by a billionaire named Alki David. Lots of people go on it and are given about a minute to do something wacky over cam (generally people just play the guitar or get trolled by people in chat). Every once in awhile Alki David (owner of the website) will log in and tell you to do something in exchange for money via paypal. For example, take a shit in front of the camera and spell "Battlecam" out with the shit. So, Alki decided to create the million dollar challenge. The million dollar challenge is to run naked within ear shot of Barack Obama, with "Battlecam" painted on your chest and you need to scream "Battlecam" six times. Don't do it exactly as he wants it done? No money.
Whether or not Juan passed the challenge is unknown. Alki has yet to say anything.

Enjoy these coffee-addicted cats!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Are you a girl?

Ever had one of those opportunities to screw with a person and just the sound of it nearly made you jizz your pants?
Well, last night my girlfriend was talking to me over Skype and she recieved a random message from a man named "Musti." He was asking her to "cam and show hot tits." She disagreed and he proceeded to call her a whore. Infuriated, she turned to me (another internet troll) for help. She sent him my contact information and I told him I was a hot, young girl ready for action.
Musti called me.
I showed him my ballsack.
He stared blankly at it for about a minute.
I got bored and hung up. He then sent me a message asking if I was a boy or girl.
This....was a major disappointment. Luckily, his friend "Rapper_rap" decided to try his luck with my ballsack!
[3:42:56 AM] r&b: heyyy
[3:43:03 AM] Jizz Juggler: Hi, cutie! <3
[3:43:34 AM] r&b: asl plz
[3:44:11 AM] r&b: ?
[3:44:14 AM] Jizz Juggler: 17/f/Belarus
[3:44:24 AM] r&b: u horny girl?
[3:44:31 AM] Jizz Juggler: Very ;)
[3:44:36 AM] r&b: can i see you?
[3:44:47 AM] Jizz Juggler: Sure!
[3:45:06 AM] *** Call from r&b, duration 00:25. ***
(It was only 25 seconds long because he knew he was staring at a ballsack, caught on a little quicker than Musti.)
[3:45:37 AM] r&b: you are not female
[3:45:46 AM] Jizz Juggler: Yes I am
[3:46:02 AM] r&b: show me ur real face
[3:46:17 AM] Jizz Juggler: Alright, but it looks like the ballsack you just saw. [3:46:44 AM] *** Call from r&b, duration 00:11. ***
(It was only 10 seconds long...because it was a ballsack again)
[3:47:00 AM] r&b: lierrr
[3:47:06 AM] r&b: u are ugly guy
[3:47:08 AM] Jizz Juggler: I am not lying!
[3:47:11 AM] Jizz Juggler: Nuh uh!
[3:47:17 AM] r&b: you are not female
[3:47:23 AM] Jizz Juggler: I am! I swear!
[3:47:28 AM] r&b: i want pussy
[3:47:55 AM] r&b: show me ur pussy
[3:48:00 AM] Jizz Juggler: Alright!
[3:48:22 AM] r&b: pussy
[3:48:38 AM] Jizz Juggler: ok
[3:48:57 AM] *** Call from r&b, duration 00:07. ***
(This time it was my asshole and spread asscheeks. I was also slapping my nut sack around.)
[3:49:13 AM] r&b: fuck ur ass
[3:49:15 AM] r&b: lier
[3:49:26 AM] Jizz Juggler: If you really wanna fuck my ass, I'm fine with that too.

This continued on for 3 more calls, he didn't understand that I was a dude and I was just showing him my balls. -shrug-

Now, enjoy this cat playing with some balls! (Oh...and the techno music...if you like techno, I guess.)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Skeet, skeet!

Title is irrelevant, once again.

So, a night ago I had an interesting encounter with a friend's friend. He was a big ol' metal viking. Had the long, braided, blonde, viking like hair. He wore plenty of those old metal band shirts. And he was really into LARPing. For those of those who don't know what LARPing mean, it stands for: Live Action Role Playing. Basically, he liked to pick up a foam sword and shield, dress up, then hit other people who were doing the same thing. So...big ol' metal viking wielding foam weapons. This guy was legitimately scared and infuriated by homosexuals. I told him he was "cute" and he went into a fury! This ginormous bastard then went into a rage about how homosexuals are tearing the country apart and he voted yes to prop 8 because he HATES "faggots." I tried to calmly explain that I am not gay and I have a girlfriend. That didn't suffice. I'm really hoping he isn't at home making some sort of training dummy with my face on it now. Last I'd want is to be the practice doll for his foam sword.

Also, I enjoyed Whorewolf's music section. I'm going to steal that.
Today I'd recommend some soothing pianists! For those of you who don't know Ludovico Einaudi, I'd like to introduce you to this hardcore mother f***er! He will shred your s**t into a thousand f**k shards and eat your a** with a melon baller! This man will f**k his piano back and forth in order to make you, your wife, your children, and everyone in a hundred mile god damn f**king radius jizz their pants! Ludovico will then take you to a nice dinner and talk politics, religion, and theoretical science with you (and in most cases will agree with you, because he thinks you're a f**king genius!)
Here's a sample: Click here!
Now, get in the god damn bath, light some mother f**king candles, and enjoy his soothing melodies.

While you're at it, enjoy these cats!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Because All Trent's Are Awesome

Whorewolf here again. Blizzard is, by far, the most lazy person i have ever met. But, i guess i can see past his arrogant, video-game exterior and into his heart, which is full of good intentions and love and kittens.
Or possibly, I'm just desperate.
Today's topic?
Nine Inch Nails. I've been obsessed with their music lately. If you're into synth, go with Pretty Hate Machine. If you're into anarchy, go with Year Zero, and if you like to listen to the trendy stuff, go for With Teeth. Personally, i'd go with Pretty Hate Machine.
And now, enjoy these cat(s).

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I can rant too!

We all have our own political/religious views, and mines are superior.

I'm agnostic, because it's the only one that makes sense. Something happened, we don't know and probably will never know, so thiests/athiests should stop bitching at each other. Both sides are full of arrogant people who think they're right (I'm not a hypocrite, because I AM right :D).

Politically, I'm independent, because I don't give a fuck anymore. I've argued every point of politics and noticed that they all fail. People are stupid and that's our downfall. You could create the perfect government in the perfect country but the citizens will fuck it up one way or another.

Now that we got that out of the way, enjoy these cats!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Whorewolf is coming to town

Back by popular demand- and by popular demand, i mean suggestions that Blizzard should "keep his girl under control"- i'm here again to rage about pointless meanderings. Today's topic is retards. My definition of retard, (for today, anyway) being a right-wing conservative jackass. For some reason, these people really bother me. So i'm going to go ahead and knock them down a rung, by pointing out exactly how obnoxiously ignorant they are. But since i don't have the time, patience, or resources to fully analyze an entire political subgrouping, i'm going to pick one person as my scapegoat to bitch at: Christine O'Donnell. This woman has gone on record saying such things as:

"Drag queen balls celebrate the type of lifestyle that leads to the disease AIDS."

"Psychics put people in spiritual harm, just like pimps put people in physical harm."

"Creationism, in essence, says that the world began like Genesis says; that the world was created in 6 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that."

And this is just a sampling of the bullshit she spews on a regular basis. Perhaps i'm the only one who got the memo, but i'm fairly certain that: OTHER PEOPLE besides homosexual transvestites can and do contract AIDS; that getting a palm-reading from a fake psychic is a LOT less harmful than being forced into prostitution; and that it takes a little more than a handful of days to create an entire fucking universe. What other proof of that is there, beyond a goddamn book that may or may not be metaphorical? The woman is also against masturbation. Apparently, it's some sort of 'sin'. So, appropriately, i fully intend on mailing Christine this:
Talk about shoving democracy down her throat.

Also, don't forget to enjoy this cat. He's certainly appalled at her logic.

Also, if anyone was wondering at the title of this blog post, i blog under the name Whorewolf. But not very frequently. *The More You Know*

Hot damn! Fits like a glove.

The title has nothing to do with anything. I just felt like including the two sayings.

I should let my girlfriend do the blog more often, she is a lot more interesting than I am.
Speakin' of which, I'm going to be a little more boring/lazy than usual....

Enjoy these cats.

(Note: I didn't find that video, my girlfriend did; that's how lazy I am right now.)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Today's blog has been hijacked, much like Flight 93. The only difference being that i am Blizzard's girlfriend, and not an arabic man. Also, i'm not going to kill us all in a fiery heap of metal, partially because that's not cool, yo, but also because none of that ever actually happened because 9/11 was a giant government conspiracy perpetrated by George Bush so he would have a reason to start another war- just like the American government did with the Lusitania in World War 1.
But, I digress.
Blizzard- as he is known as on this website- is playing video games, as usual. I acquiesced to his request that i write this blog for him, at least this one time. I was told, and i quote, "You can write about whatever you'd like. I'm not going to edit it. I'm just going to judge you very harshly on it."
Newsflash? I don't have anymore of a life then my loving boyfriend does.'s these motherfucking cats, again. Turns out, we've cracked the code of cat-speak. Enjoy <3